Tag Archives: restaurants

First date faux-pas

first date faux pas

I love first dates. So much can happen on a first date. Yes, it can be a short-lived experience, and all you’ve lost is time. But, generally, it’s where everything is new, and anything is possible.

Dating as a single mum has been a roller coaster of a ride. Sometimes it awakens the senses. Sometimes it’s even comedic. And yes, it can also be heart wrenchingly tragic. First dates are necessary, and often feel like hard work, sometimes they’re awkward, and sometimes, if you’re in sync with your date, it is a wonderfully warm experience that you want to revisit over, and over.

Surely, I thought to myself, there must be helpful guide on how to navigate a first date. Though it’s a shame to create a template that is devoid of personal idiosyncrasies and quirks, so  that it’s better to find out what you should NOT do on a first date, and let the rest be guided by your own individual personality. Yes, the etiquette of first dates.

The absolute biggest no-no is when a person talks badly of past relationships.

I researched my favourite etiquette resources, and they state that it’s still inappropriate to discuss religion, politics and money. I agree that discussing money with a near stranger is not a good idea, but today, when religion and politics are at the forefront of our lives, it seems rather impossible. It’s also possibly a good idea to broach those topics early, in case you have opposing ideas on them. It’s either going to produce a healthy discussion, or give you the exit you should take if you can’t stand his or her ideals or beliefs.

As to discussing sex, I have rarely experienced a first date when a man has offered this up for conversation. I’m sure that he thinks about it, and can be quite flirtatious, but it’s definitely up to the woman to initiate the topic. If a woman wants to get physical, she will let you know, just like our minx on our cover photo. If she prefers to establish a romantic relationship before getting physical, she will also guide that. It is acceptable to try to kiss a woman, and some women love that attention, but if she turns away, or indicates that she isn’t ready, then respect her wishes.

There are a few things that men should do. They will not appear old-fashioned if they open car doors for a woman, nor will it seem odd to help a woman with her coat. And even if those seem too much to do for your date, then at the very least you should open the door to the restaurant for your date. Typically the door opens out, and she should pass first, but if the door opens inwards, then you should walk through and hold the door open for her.

There is a very old world rule that says that men should always enter a restaurant before his date. This is to ward off all other gentlemen’s eyes to your date. Today, most women will walk directly behind the maitre-d or host, followed by her partner.

Table manners are also extremely important, and licking your knife, or your plate are forbidden. Tucking your napkin into your collar is only accepted when eating lobster or ribs, and the establishment normally supplies these.

Menu suggestions are great, but taking over and ordering on behalf of your date is not appropriate.

Answering your phone or texting is unacceptable. If you’re in a situation that requires you to keep your phone at the ready for work or if you have kids waiting at home, then let your date know.

And, as a general rule, if you invited your date, then you should pay for the meal. But I will write in depth on this important topic in an upcoming article. Too many have asked me what is the right etiquette with paying for dates.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

What’s with the caps indoors?

cap1

Tonight, at dinner with friends at the local ribs joint, we were enjoying that etqt is raising awareness for modern day issues.

We heartily ate our ribs with our hands, watching each others faces quickly become fodder for all the sweet and sticky sauce. Our bibs were collective messes, or “Rorschach” ink blots – easily translated as a great meal. I’m sure that there’s an article here somewhere about proper eating etiquette.

We were each running through a list of behaviour that always surprises us. However, most of the topics we seemed to differ on the correct etiquette.

One topic where we were all in absolute agreement is about the correct etiquette with caps, the baseball cap, the truckers cap, actually any cap.

They are to keep the sun out of your eyes, obviously for playing baseball, and for driving your truck. We agree that they are recommended for shielding eyes from the sun for lots of other occasions too. But where they are not acceptable is indoors.

So why do people still choose to wear them indoors? I guess it’s a vanity or ego thing. Men losing their hair seem to think it’s a substitute for hair, or maybe they actually think we will think that there’s a full head of hair under the cap.

So, after some research on what’s the correct etiquette here, it is unanimously declared that caps indoors are unacceptable. There seems to be a limited number of places where they are acceptable, like in elevators, where you may find that you can’t remove your cap as your hands are full carrying packages.

One American online source on Hatequette (http://www.manyhattyreturns.com/2010/08/10/etiquette-of-hat-wearing-for-men/) states that all hats must be removed in the following places:
As a general rule men should remove their hats when indoors, as follows (not necessarily comprehensive):
-In a home (particularly in another’s home)
-Indoors at work (especially in an office). This rule would not apply of course to protective headgear such as construction helmets.
-At a movie or other indoor theatrical performance.
-In a Christian Church (or perhaps in another place of worship depending on the rules applicable) except for the priests. There are different rules for different religions and they also relate to the type of headgear to be worn. For example, Jewish men wear a yarmulke, skull cap, as a sign of humility before God. Some Jewish men wear the yarmulke all the time except for swimming or bathing at least.
-In a court of law (wearing a hat has often been treated as a contempt of court).
-In a restaurant ( sometimes it is deemed acceptable to keep a hat on while at the lunch counter of a diner or café
).

The biggest question today is what to do with one’s cap when it’s removed? The hat-check room would make a great revival.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,
mbwhatsnew

NEW LOCATION: www.mbwhatsnew.com

The Patron Saint of Dogs

How far would you go to save every abused & abandoned dog & cat you met?

Lachlan + Cathy

Welcome to the House of Payne

Scarlet Says

Changing the way you think about etiquette

The Syncretic Soubrette

Snarky musings from an everyday woman

Flyy Girl Etiquette

Present yourself with style, manners, proper etiquette, poise. A modern take on etiquette.

PWs at USF

Professional Writers Helping Professional Writers

50 Shades of Human Resources

ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HR, BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK ---------- compiled by Rosemary Cardno, M.A., SPHR -- Today's Human Resources Executive & Consultant, Executive Coach

psychologistmimi

Food, Road Trips & Notes from the Non-Profit Underground

Naturist Freedom

About Our Shared Natural State, Nude

Leadership Development Programs

MMM Training Solutions

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.