Tag Archives: manners

Off with your kit

Image

Is this going to be the theme of my next dinner party… How to follow the etiquette of nude dining?

For the Huffington Post 18 Mar 2014

by by Ruth Wertzberger Carlson

Once upon a time, etiquette was important: One needed to know which fork to use, which glass to sip from. Those days, my friends, are over. Now, questions of etiquette mainly revolve around how many Instagrams each guest is allowed to take during dinner.

But there remains one corner of the world where table etiquette remains a vexing and important issue: at nude resorts. And it’s a problem for a growing number of people.

“We’re seeing a rise in ‘nakations,’ especially among people in their thirties,'” says Sue Nerud, spokesperson for the American Association for Nude Recreation. Exact statistics are hard to come by, however, since many nudists prefer to remain anonymous. (In fact, several nudists in this article spoke only on the condition their names not be used.) And while Nerud said recent studies show that nakations are great stress relievers, there remain those pesky etiquette issues — which we are about to solve for you!

1. Towel On: “Naked butts at the table are a big no-no,” says travel writer and photographer David Lansing, who likes to take off his press hat (and everything else) at nudist resorts around the world. For reasons of basic health and safety, everyone brings a towel to sit on. More proof that, as fans of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy know all too well, a towel is “the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker” — or hungry nudist — “can have.”

2. Just Because We’re All Naked Doesn’t Mean We’re All Friends: “You should wait to be invited to a table,” says Lansing. “This isn’t like going on a cruise; even though there may be eight or 10 people at a large table, they usually all know each other, and there will be a very uncomfortable pause in the conversation if you just sit down at a table uninvited. That said, nudists are some of the friendliest people I’ve met and invariably you’ll be asked to join one group or another for lunch or dinner. But do wait to be asked.”

3. Listen to Your Mother — Use a Napkin! “As a matter of etiquette,” says advice columnist April Masini, “covering your private parts with a napkin while at a nudist event is good manners the same way not chewing with your mouth open is. We all know it’s there; we all know what’s happening; we don’t need to see everything at dinner. Just because you take your clothes off doesn’t mean you should strip yourself of manners.”

4. Some Don’t Like It Hot: “Most nudists resorts will hold traditional barbecues, and first-timers need to be careful around the ‘weenie roast,'” says Tom Mulhall, who owns the Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs, California, and blogs about nudism on The Huffington Post. Nor is the grill the only danger — the dinner table, too, can be hazardous. “Don’t allow your waiter to serve you a bowl of hot soup. He can spill into your lap,” notes photography instructor Eugene Louie, who visits clothing-optional resorts for self-reflection.

4. Listen to Your Mother, Part 2: “Sit up straight,” says Masini. “Good posture at the dinner table is always a way to show good breeding and good manners, but when you’re nude, slouching and elbows akimbo are not only more noticeable — they create a silhouette that is less attractive than if you have clothes on. Sit up straight!”

5. No One Will Pardon Your Reach: “Don’t reach — even if you think it’s not a reach,” says Masini. “Nude or naturist dining requires a greater margin of coordination and control. Without a bra, and with a well-endowed chest, reaching — even a little — may result in your breasts in the marinara sauce.”

6. There Is Such a Thing as Too Casual. “Casual dining doesn’t mean you can put your ankle across your knee, or your feet up on the coffee table — even if it’s an outdoor barbecue with paper plates,” says Masini. “Reconsider the view others will have while eating.” Of course, if you keep a napkin in your lap, this won’t be an issue.

7. Eyes Up Here, Buddy! “I’d say the most important table etiquette for nudists is no staring,” says Lansing. “It’s not unusual for nudists to just wrap a gauzy sarong around them as they go straight from the pool (or beach) to the table, so you want to try really hard to maintain eye contact.” Instead of discussing people’s bodies, it’s safer to talk about the food.

8. Food Porn, OK. Real Porn, No Way! Go ahead and Instagram your dinner if the resort allows it, says Nerud, but don’t shoot other guests unless they sign a photo release form.

9. Chill Out: If you’re nervous about dining in the buff, don’t be. The resort owners I spoke to all said concerns about being naked usually go away after 15 minutes. Nude dining seems naturally relaxing: You don’t have to think about what to wear (or dry-cleaning bills), and you never have to loosen your belt if you overeat. Although, actually, I can’t think of a better motivation to lose weight than the fact that everyone can see your gut (and everything else).

Tagged , , , , , ,

Flushing good one!

We couldn’t agree more.
(As seen in washroom of doctor’s clinic).

20130903-225530.jpg

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Keep your top on

beachwear

 

I go to the beach. I go because I want a swim, or to lie down and get a bit of a tan, read a book, or to hang out with my friends or family.

What I don’t go for, is to watch topless women flaunt their breasts.

I wonder why women today feel that they have a free pass on topless sunbathing at public (family style) beaches.

I dare think any man really minds seeing bare chested women. But that’s really applies to any place, any time, right?

I understand that women don’t want to have strap marks on their shoulders. But makeup has come a long way, and if that’s such an issue, then wear the strapless suits.

I’m not going to rave on about the damage that our sun is doing to our skin. It’s one of the worst things to come out of our Lucky Country. I do think that most beaches do not tolerate topless bathing, at least in most major cities in Australia.

Make sure to find out what the local expectations are when traveling. It’s disrespectful, and sometimes illegal, to bare your body in some countries.

If you are going to dare to bare your breasts at beaches, then you will have to accept that men, and some women, will leer and jeer.

Tagged , , , , ,

T’is the season to be jolly … That doesn’t mean ripped!

drunk

I must confess, I’m not a good drunk. Actually, I’m not an ugly drunk, I’m just not used to being drunk, so I haven’t really mastered the art of over drinking.

I’m a happy drunk. So in that, I am grateful. Those depressed, woeful drunks, who rant about all their misgivings and delve into the darkest parts of their psyche, when they are so oblivious, do make for the worst kind of drunks.

I’m not about to preach to those who need alcohol to get through their days. This isn’t that kind of site.

But, working out how to behave when you’re way too jolly is something that I’ve been wondering. I recently found myself in such a state at a Christmas party, going in and out of the oblivious sector of my brain… where moments pass in a little blank, and then something, or someone pulls you back to reality (or are they pulling you back to consciousness?). At one moment, a friend asked me where my shoes were… I couldn’t recall taking them off, and even comically looked down at my feet to check if my shoes were actually off.

I have a pet peeve about women who wander around in public without shoes on. So, you can imagine my chagrin to find myself in that particular predicament.

Though my behaviour pales in comparison to lots of drunken behaviour, it did make me wonder what kind of standard, yes, etiquette, should one follow when it comes to parties, cocktails, dining and how much alcohol is acceptable.

My friends tease me that I am such a light weight with alcohol. It seems that the more I try to keep up with them, the less I’m able to keep up.

Yes, the golden rule is sip your drinks, don’t gulp them. If you’re that thirsty, then alternate a soft drink with your alcoholic beverage. This is a wise idea anyhow, as it will help with the dehydration that alcohol takes on your body, and that can only help the healing process with the hangover the next morning.

Sticking to one type of alcohol purports to keep hangovers away too. But I can’t find any proof of that except that your body metabolises different chemicals in different ways, so the variances in white wine, red wine, champagne, beer and/or spirits require that the liver and kidney work in different ways, so that can cause hangovers, so I suppose it makes sense that this variable also contributes to the alcoholic reaction to your body.

Eating before drinking helps to absorb the alcohol.

Knowing your tipping point is always good. But there doesn’t seem to be a golden rule that works every time. Is it 2 glasses per hour, or 1? Definitely no more than 5 drinks per evening. And champagne has the added bubbly effect that seems to have a throttle to the inebriated state!

Unless you are intending to get really drunk, try drinking one standard drink (can of beer, shot of hard liquor)per hour, which is about the rate at which your liver can keep up. For most people, the most pleasant moment is when the first one kicks in (BAL around .05), and drinking more at that time just moves you away from the “sweet spot.” At one per hour, your blood alcohol level will tend to stay in that range, resulting in more pleasant feeling and less likelihood of doing something stupid. http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-a-Hangover

You know it’s time to go home when any, or all , of the following things happen;

– You lose time – this could actually be more serious than you think if it happens often. I worried that my virtual blackout may be serious, but it seems that if it’s just the one off, then it’s s simple trigger to the quantity of alcohol . I should just monitor the intake.

– You start making a fool of yourself, or worse, others. If your words start slurring, and you know it, then go home.

– You’re feeling the slump of sad thoughts or dismal feelings. Best to go home, get a good rest, eat a hearty meal on wake up, and go for a long walk or do some sport to move out of depressive or sad emotions.

– You’re making advances on people who are unavailable. A few years ago a woman that I’d met a few times impressed upon me how attracted she was to me, and that she would very much like to kiss me. I was blindsided. I had had too much to drink, and didn’t know how to brush her off. I raced out of the party and got myself home. She too was drunk, so had found the courage to make these advances. I didn’t think too much of it then, but think alcohol a very brazen lubricant.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Class and etiquette

class

Is class synonymous with etiquette?

I was invited to a terrific christmas lunch yesterday, where the host and I got into a heated discussion about class.

He defines class as someone who shows generosity beyond their means, or if fortune has found you, then you are classy if you make efforts to bridge the divide with those less fortunate. I shared with him that I didn’t agree with his definition, and said that class was irrelevant of wealth. That class is defined by many attributes, like humility, courtesy, consideration, and etiquette. Generosity is not about class. I know many people without means who have class, and many more with huge wealth that are class-less.

He was determined to contradict me, so I, being a guest in his home, agreed to disagree, and left it at that.

Obviously, it did get me thinking about the differences between etiquette and class.

Etiquette are the rules and guidelines to behaviour between two or more parties, or manners that one has in society.

Class is a state of being. In any given situation to act with class is to be humble and generous in nature, polite and somewhat refined in your behaviour.

I think it is natural to think that people with class live with etiquette.

But some people who use correct etiquette have little or no class.

So, maybe they’re not synonymous after all.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Emoticons, acronyms and communication between generations

article-new_ehow_images_a06_k5_di_add-_amp_amp_-emoticons-messenger-live-800x800

Emoticons, though considered a form of communicating your emotions, really are the very simple version. I can’t remember when I left a friend’s company with a simple happy (or sad) face to something she said. How very one-dimensional.

So when is it appropriate to use them, or more importantly, when is it not a good idea?

It’s simple really, only use emoticons with friends and those friends that understand them, ie, not all family members get them, even if they try, and your new boss definitely won’t think you’re serious enough for a promotion if you send him a happy face after a good business meeting. Unless of course you work for Mark Zuckerberg.

They should not be used for official work communication, either by email, or phone texting. Think of the hierarchy in your office. If you want to go up the business ladder, then do not send emoticons, or acronyms, to your superiors.

When mobile phone texting was first launched, the sender was limited to a maximum number of 260 characters (or thereabouts), and anything over that would be charged another unit by one’s mobile phone provider, so it was often important to maximise the usage by minimising the number of characters used. Hence, the creative invention of emoticons. Today, we have limitless texts, so it’s just really brevity or an effort to be funny to insert them at every text.

Teenagers use them amongst themselves with acronyms and all other sorts of abbreviations to speed up the communication process. It does make this mother of two teenagers wonder why they don’t just pick up the phone and call their friends. They remind me how old I am, and tell me that it’s not cool.

I’ve thought this over dozens of times. It makes me think of the language that we use in our lives. I believe that there are three languages… all english;

1) the language we use with our elders, with superiors, or professionally, ie always polite, respectful, without cursing, always taking care to be as articulate as possible, lots of active listening;

2) the language we use with our children and those we feel we need to be a good example, also polite, without curse words, with a tone of confidence, respect and often extolling the correct behaviour; some active listening, lots of “ah ahh”, “yes, I see”;

3) the language we use with our friends and peers, where obviously anything goes. Yes, the most relaxed form of communication. Some cursing may figure here depending on the individual.

I daren’t send emoticons or acronyms to my elders for fear to offend them if they didn’t understand them. I don’t send them to my children either, and ask them not to send them to me. I have told my children that as their parent and teacher of life lessons, I would like to give them the purest education that I can, that of common courtesy, and of course, etiquette, so I ask them to respect the roles we have, and within those roles learn, and practice, good communication skills. They also have all their friends with whom they can 🙂 or LOL.

Funnily enough, I rarely send emoticons or acronyms to friends. I do think it’s generational. I just seem to want to practice complete and coherent sentences with my friends. Nowadays, it’s easy to use your voice recognition to speak/write your texts for you with just a quick perusal to check mistakes. Oh, and I also do pick up the phone and enjoy having full conversations with them too.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Chivalry curbside

stroll nyc

I recently started a romantic relationship with a lovely man. He is decisive, smart and worldly, practical and modern. We were strolling on the footpath. I was walking on the outer side of the curb. I mentioned that I’d heard that men are supposed to walk closest to the traffic to protect the woman from getting hit by traffic. He laughed, and said that yes that was how it was in the olden days, but today men should walk on the inside. Pedestrians were often avoiding horses and horse-drawn carriages, which had a tendancy to swerve off the road, or splash filthy water or sewage, or worse still, horse manure onto the curb, so a man’s role was definitley to protect his strolling mate. Today it’s highly unlikely for a vehicle to come off the road, and much more likely that things fall out of upper floor windows and balconies or get thrown out of shop fronts. And hence he would still be the protective one. I’m not sure if he was pulling my leg, or if he had actually been updated on the latest etiquette. But it got me thinking about how times have changed, and how etiquette needs to be updated.

So, I went on a mission to research his “facts”. Were they actually fact, fiction, or a version of both? And what is the current etiquette curbside?

Emily Post’s Etiquette states that “it used to be that a man escorting a woman on the street walked on the inside so that if waste were thrown out a window it would hit him and not her. Then when sanitation became recognized as important and people stopped tossing their waste into the street, custom changed and a man escorting a woman walked on the street side to keep her from being splashed by mud thrown up by carriage wheels or horses’ hooves. Technology has paved our streets and replaced carriages as the primary source of travel, eliminating the danger of splashing on all but rainy, slushy days, so men once again might walk on the inside, particularly at night in dangerous neighborhoods,in order to protect a woman from muggers and purse snatchers lurking in doorways.” So, he had most of it right. But, as Emily Post derives from the United States, I thought I might check out how they do it trans-Atlantic in the United Kingdom.

I discovered that in England, “In days gone by, a gentleman would walk on the outside of the pavement to protect the lady from the risks of the road and the perils of the gutter. Today, a man should still walk on the kerbside of the street. If, however, a woman naturally falls in step on the kerbside and seems comfortable with it, then it would be clumsy for him to start dodging around her to try and walk on the outside.” Deblett’s etiquette.

So, for the sake of putting this one to rest, I’d have to say, that it really doesn’t matter anymore. It’s more important that you walk side by side, as some people have a tendency to lead, or follow.

Tagged , ,
mbwhatsnew

NEW LOCATION: www.mbwhatsnew.com

The Patron Saint of Dogs

How far would you go to save every abused & abandoned dog & cat you met?

Lachlan + Cathy

Welcome to the House of Payne

Scarlet Says

Changing the way you think about etiquette

The Syncretic Soubrette

Snarky musings from an everyday woman

Flyy Girl Etiquette

Present yourself with style, manners, proper etiquette, poise. A modern take on etiquette.

PWs at USF

Professional Writers Helping Professional Writers

50 Shades of Human Resources

ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HR, BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK ---------- compiled by Rosemary Cardno, M.A., SPHR -- Today's Human Resources Executive & Consultant, Executive Coach

psychologistmimi

Food, Road Trips & Notes from the Non-Profit Underground

Naturist Freedom

About Our Shared Natural State, Nude

Leadership Development Programs

MMM Training Solutions

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.