Tag Archives: Boyfriend

Road rage….. beep beep bump!

road rage

Whilst I adore that my new, gorgeous man, is thoughtful and considerate, he has demonstrated behaviour that requires pondering, researching and pursuit of the correct etiquette.

He always picks me up in his car and drives us around when we go out, even if it means going out of his way. This I appreciate. However, I’ve discovered a healthy amount of road rage when he sees another driver doing the wrong thing on the road.

Our first conversation on this topic was regarding a couple who boast owning a California Ferrari. It’s a pretty fancy car… if you like that sort of thing. I informed him that I had seen that they had parked it irresponsibly over someone’s driveway whilst attending a lunch with me and some friends. He then said that if he had seen such a thing, he would have liked to scratch the length of the car with his keys. I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe that he could suggest such a thing. I, too, found it inexcusable to think Mr and Mrs California Ferrari would think it acceptable, but to do physical damage to their car… no. I thought, at the time, that maybe he was demonstrating his macho-ness. He says that the haughtiness of the rich enrages him. Hmmm… I left it at that.

A few weeks later, we were driving around, and whilst approaching a corner, we could see a car crossing through our intersection too fast. He didn’t pause to let the driver go through, but instead accelerated in his large Jeep Cherokee to force the other driver to know that he was, not only, in the wrong, but that he better make a quick decision about what to do, or we would all be heading straight into collision! I held my breath, and then had minor heart palpitations for several minutes afterwards. He declared the other driver a select number of savoury adjectives, before merrily going on our way.

It does remain a rare occurrence, but when it happens, I seem to get stressed, whilst just has more resolve… to show the wrong-doer up.

I have asked him if he has road rage, but he declares that he doesn’t. He offers that, as I see the world through etqt/etiquette eyes, he too believes that there is a set protocol, or road etiquette, required.

So, I got to thinking, what is the right road etiquette, when you see that others blatantly behave badly, illegally, or worse, with total disregard for others on the road.

Though, in a perfect world, we would all drive responsibly, and only stop where and when we should, and never change lanes without indicating, and enter roundabouts at the right time, and wait for all pedestrians to cross the zebra crossing, and, and, and… the list is exhaustive. But, as I am the first to admit that I cannot commit to being the perfect driver all the time, I’m willing to allow that same ethos to all too. Hence, it’s just about having a little patience and understanding.

I’ve yet to see Mr Wonderful yell out expletives to anyone, or use his middle finger (but that may be because he’s read my the article on that.. ¬†https://etqtetiquette.com/2013/02/03/hey-kids-whats-with-the-middle-finger/ ), so maybe it’s just controlled frustrations.

I do know that as the passenger, I will remain calm, collected and quiet, never to be declared as the “backseat driver”.

On a more stressful note, my 16 year old son has started driving, and the level of angst and fear that I must contain surpasses any restrain I’ve yet to need with Mr Wonderful.

I asked Mr Wonderful to consider that maybe those bad drivers may be elderly, medically challenged, or several other helpless conditions. He didn’t see the relevance. Oh well… He’s Wonderful… not Perfect.

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Friends with an Ex

friends

Yesterday, I attended the memorial service of a very famous sports icon. It was a moving event and heart-breaking watching his young children speak of him with such dignity and grace.

I had done the research on the appropriate etiquette, so participated with a silent and sombre air.

During the service, I sat, unbeknownst to me, next to the divorcee of a very well-known Australian entrepreneur. She waved to many people, and at one point giggled how one particularly famous man she waved to had physically gotten out of shape since their relationship over fifteen years prior. She was a bit disturbed that he waved to her, and declared that she would prefer that they both pretend that they didn’t know each other. She then asked me if I thought it was possible to remain friends with an ex… an ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend?

I have been very fortunate that I have remained on exceptionally good terms with my ex-husband. It seems we actually have put our children first, and been able to let go of our ego’s and get on with our respective lives; it would seem that we are the poster-children for The Modern Family!

I seem also to be happy to continue building, and not dissolving, relationships with ex-boyfriends. Don’t get me wrong, there are some who have been banished from the face of my world. They seem to be the ones who have too much ego, and lack kindness. Does make you wonder why I dated them at all.

Back on track… I figure that just because I can’t have a romantic relationship (meaning with all the loaded expectations and tiptoeing of beginnings, and negotiations of disappointments, etc.. you get the picture, ie a¬†monogamous, committed relationship), doesn’t mean that I don’t like and enjoy facets of our friendship and connection.

I have one friend in particular that I dated about three years ago. Yes, after our break up (if you can call it that – we had only been dating a short while), we did have a cooling off period. There does seem to be a quieting of the senses for a while, akin to recovery, or maybe a little postmortem mourning that’s necessary. But once that was over, it seemed such a shame to lose all contact with him when we had so many things we liked to do together or discuss. We started going to the theatre together, or attending functions when we didn’t have a date. We didn’t talk about other dates. I think that was more out of respect for each others feelings than for any hope that we might rekindle our romance. But I’m thrilled that I have such a good male friend.

But when is it impossible to keep a platonic friendship with an ex? It seems that if there is residual resentment, it’s unwise to try to continue any connection or friendship. And if either party still fancies the other, then it’s probably hurtful to that person. Sometimes the kindest way to end things, is just to end them completely.

But back to the gorgeous woman I met yesterday. She insisted that it’s impossible to have a real friendship with an ex. I discovered that she is one of the most prominent, and successful, divorce lawyers in Australia. I imagine that her career, as well as her much publicised romances, and divorce, must have led her to only keeping girl friends.

Well, then there’s always Taylor Swift…. I wonder how many of her ex-boyfriends want to remain friends after she writes songs about them?

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