Category Archives: Drinking

Hubba bubba – chew on that!

gum

My new man chews gum. He does it, so he says, as the means to stay off cigarettes. Cute… but he quit five years ago!

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest, as he is polite and thoughtful, and rarely chews in my presence.

But, it got me wondering, what is the right etiquette for chewing gum?

I do it rarely. I find that my favourite gum loses it’s flavour within minutes. It also makes my lips dry… I don’t know why that is! But most of all, if I chew for too long, I burp (very un-etqt of me), and get a stomach ache with hunger pangs. If I chew too long, I end up with a headache too. Really, what’s the advantage for me?

I’ve never met anyone else with the same complaints.

I did try to use it as a breath freshener and way of keeping my teeth cleaner during the course of the day, just as the advertising said, but I’d be so hungry after 20 or 30 minutes that I’d end up eating something, and my teeth wouldn’t be clean anymore.

So, when is it ok to chew, and more importantly how?

Definitely, keep your mouth shut when you chew. I recall at 13 year’s old, I was on my way home from the local beach on the bus, and a bunch of girls walked past me, and one turned to me and said, “you chew like a cow”. I was mortified. Lucky it stayed with me, and I never chewed gum with my mouth opened again.

Blowing bubbles with bubble gum is for kids. So, if you’re older than 10, no more bubbles.

Make sure to get rid of your gum in the most discrete and hygienic way by wrapping in some kind of paper and putting in the rubbish ASAP. Do not swallow your gum. There are reports that children have had to have surgery to remove globs of collected gum in their bellies due to swallowing up to nine pieces of gum a day.

You should never chew gum when you’re going for job interview (even if you think the company is modern and chilled out), or when you’re eating (imagine all the mishaps that could happen?), and definitely when you’re about to get cosy with your partner (I can’t imagine how awful it would be to kiss someone with gum in his mouth).

If you’re going to chew, keep your mouth closed (as much as you can) and keep quiet.

A FEW FUN FACTS ABOUT GUM:

There are places where gum is banned. Singapore for one.. yes, a whole country. From 1992 till 2002. It was reinstated in 2002, but only with a prescription from a doctor. And only sugarless gum at that! You could get a hefty $6,000 fine if you’re caught without your prescription!

Some theme parks and other gardens around the world have banned it too, to keep the grounds clean. Gum is made of polymers, and bonds with other man-made materials.

Chewing gum burns about 11 calories per hour. But an hour of chewing would probably make your jaw sore! Just like a workout at the gym!

Chewing gum on an airplane will keep your ears from popping. Chewing gum makes your salivary glands produce 250% more saliva than normally, so you swallow more. This helps balance the pressure in your head.

Back in the 1920’s, prohibition increased gum sales because people needed to mask the alcohol on their breath. When prohibition was enacted, Adam’s Clove gum hit the market with the slogan: “It takes your breath away!”  – NICE ONE!

Well, I’m just thankful that chewing tobacco has lost it’s appeal… though, a few years ago I sat next to a man on a long-haul flight who kept smacking his lips, and after a while of chatting, he explained that he was chewing tobacco. I was gobsmacked. He didn’t try to excuse it, and declared it as bad a vice as smoking, but was hooked. He did tell me that there are now so many “flavours” of tobacco that you can actually have minty flavoured chew! The countless times he wiped his mouth with a tissue to rid it of the nicotine spit just made me want to wretch! But I just smiled and kept my mouth shut, just like a good etqt lady… but seriously….YUCH!!!!! I can’t even write the article on tobacco chewing etiquette. I’ll leave that to my American southern belle counterparts.

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and God created woman (part 2)

bardot

Yesterday, as I walked in the city after an early theatre performance, I was commenting to my male friend how people were dressed. It was a warm Saturday night and people were very casually dressed. Yes, we live in a city by the sea, and the culture is a relaxed beach-type culture. More importantly I noticed how skimpy were women’s clothes. It seems that women are displaying all their wares for males, and women, to see. There’s nothing new here, it’s natural to try to attract the opposite sex with visual cues. But have we gone overboard? What is the right dress etiquette to stay attractive without being vulgar?

My friend admitted that women who show too much have no appeal to him. Men are still after the challenge, and a woman who bares too much also leaves nothing to the imagination, nothing for the chase.

There is etiquette on the lengths of skirts, but I do think that it’s really determined by the tightness of the clothing. And, sadly and unjustly, by the shape of a woman’s body. A dress that is worn too tight and short on a portly frame is going to more unsightly than a hugging dress on a very skinny girl. This does not mean that women with curves are unattractive at all. We all just need to learn what is attractive for our body shapes.

Cleavage also is predetermined by the shape of the body. Voluptuous women with ample breasts can sometimes have a sex appeal that a skimpily clad busty woman can not muster.

So, there are a few basic rules of attire etiquette. Most importantly, if you’re going to show off your legs with a short skirt or shorts, then cover your breasts. It’s one or the other… not both. In any case, rare is the woman who has fantastic legs and cleavage, so stick to your most favoured feature, and highlight it.

Unbeknownst to most people, your posture is most likely to by your best asset. Think of people who slouch. They send a message of weakness or sadness. Whereas a person who stands tall, with their shoulders back gives off an air of confidence and strength.

Smile. Yes, I can’t tell you the number of times a man has approached me and told me that he was drawn to my smile. Joy is very seductive.

Clothes that are clean and well pressed are much more attractive than crumpled dirty clothes. And least of all smelly ones.

Wear clothes appropriate to the season. It is ridiculous to see women in skimpy clothes in winter months, and just silly seeing women in thick winter wear during hot summer nights. It doesn’t matter that the clothes figure as the latest craze in the northern hemisphere.

If you’re going to wear men’s clothing (for effect), then make sure that you mix it well with a feminine piece. Great accessories, or fantastic high heel shoes. Or inject colour and contrast.

If you wear white, it invites trouble. You’re either going to display cellulite (easily masked if you had chosen black) or display more than you intended when lighting hits it at the right angle (recall Lady Diana’s early photo shoot in long white flowing skirt).

Oh, and my pet peeve. Never, ever, (ever… though a past write-up offers one recent occurrence for this etqt author), take off your shoes when going out at night and wander with them in your hands. If you can’t bear to walk, then take a pause and recover a while. Walking in high heels, like any skill, must be learnt. Practice wearing them at home for lengthier periods each time. Choose the right shoe for the event you will attend. Extremely high heels at a dinner party is fine when you’ll find yourself seated for most of the evening. Not so fine if you’re going to be dancing or standing all night. Cocktails are tricky. It’s always more appealing to see legs lengthened by heels, but sometimes it’s a painful price to pay. Once, again, practice it over several days, weeks if possible.

As to alcohol and it’s effects on appearance and attractiveness, I recall driving passed a pub with my pre-teen daughter a year ago, and thanks to the perfect timing, a very drunk, scarcely dressed, woman with smudged make up (I think you get the picture),  meandered in front of my car, with sandals in her hands. I pointed out to my daughter that this woman was “cheap” (yes, I was being extremely harsh and judgmental, but please bear with me as I extoll the virtues of this tale), and sadly that this girl would only attract one of two men; a cheap man (slovenly and without virtue) or a fine man who was seeking a temporary fix (ie not a good man either). The moral to this tale is that you get what you put out. This applies to men too. Women are least attracted to drunks, bullies and overtly loud, obnoxious men. It served as a great learning device for this mum. Now, my daughter makes a point of showing me “cheap” girls all the time. Goodness, have a created a monster?

On a more contemporary note about attire for modern woman; if you’re confident that you know what message you’re sending with your appearance, and do not shy away from comments that could be made, then wear what you like. Good etiquette, above all, is about being confident without offending those around you. And fashion is all about expressing yourself on the outside.

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T’is the season to be jolly … That doesn’t mean ripped!

drunk

I must confess, I’m not a good drunk. Actually, I’m not an ugly drunk, I’m just not used to being drunk, so I haven’t really mastered the art of over drinking.

I’m a happy drunk. So in that, I am grateful. Those depressed, woeful drunks, who rant about all their misgivings and delve into the darkest parts of their psyche, when they are so oblivious, do make for the worst kind of drunks.

I’m not about to preach to those who need alcohol to get through their days. This isn’t that kind of site.

But, working out how to behave when you’re way too jolly is something that I’ve been wondering. I recently found myself in such a state at a Christmas party, going in and out of the oblivious sector of my brain… where moments pass in a little blank, and then something, or someone pulls you back to reality (or are they pulling you back to consciousness?). At one moment, a friend asked me where my shoes were… I couldn’t recall taking them off, and even comically looked down at my feet to check if my shoes were actually off.

I have a pet peeve about women who wander around in public without shoes on. So, you can imagine my chagrin to find myself in that particular predicament.

Though my behaviour pales in comparison to lots of drunken behaviour, it did make me wonder what kind of standard, yes, etiquette, should one follow when it comes to parties, cocktails, dining and how much alcohol is acceptable.

My friends tease me that I am such a light weight with alcohol. It seems that the more I try to keep up with them, the less I’m able to keep up.

Yes, the golden rule is sip your drinks, don’t gulp them. If you’re that thirsty, then alternate a soft drink with your alcoholic beverage. This is a wise idea anyhow, as it will help with the dehydration that alcohol takes on your body, and that can only help the healing process with the hangover the next morning.

Sticking to one type of alcohol purports to keep hangovers away too. But I can’t find any proof of that except that your body metabolises different chemicals in different ways, so the variances in white wine, red wine, champagne, beer and/or spirits require that the liver and kidney work in different ways, so that can cause hangovers, so I suppose it makes sense that this variable also contributes to the alcoholic reaction to your body.

Eating before drinking helps to absorb the alcohol.

Knowing your tipping point is always good. But there doesn’t seem to be a golden rule that works every time. Is it 2 glasses per hour, or 1? Definitely no more than 5 drinks per evening. And champagne has the added bubbly effect that seems to have a throttle to the inebriated state!

Unless you are intending to get really drunk, try drinking one standard drink (can of beer, shot of hard liquor)per hour, which is about the rate at which your liver can keep up. For most people, the most pleasant moment is when the first one kicks in (BAL around .05), and drinking more at that time just moves you away from the “sweet spot.” At one per hour, your blood alcohol level will tend to stay in that range, resulting in more pleasant feeling and less likelihood of doing something stupid. http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-a-Hangover

You know it’s time to go home when any, or all , of the following things happen;

– You lose time – this could actually be more serious than you think if it happens often. I worried that my virtual blackout may be serious, but it seems that if it’s just the one off, then it’s s simple trigger to the quantity of alcohol . I should just monitor the intake.

– You start making a fool of yourself, or worse, others. If your words start slurring, and you know it, then go home.

– You’re feeling the slump of sad thoughts or dismal feelings. Best to go home, get a good rest, eat a hearty meal on wake up, and go for a long walk or do some sport to move out of depressive or sad emotions.

– You’re making advances on people who are unavailable. A few years ago a woman that I’d met a few times impressed upon me how attracted she was to me, and that she would very much like to kiss me. I was blindsided. I had had too much to drink, and didn’t know how to brush her off. I raced out of the party and got myself home. She too was drunk, so had found the courage to make these advances. I didn’t think too much of it then, but think alcohol a very brazen lubricant.

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