The slow dance to your first date

date pic

The dance for romance between men and women today is wrought with questions and doubt. In this, times have not changed at all.

It is different in that we have been pressured by technology. This is a shame.

Joel, a handsome and articulate, young gentleman of 25, I met recently, shared with me how he was saddened that romance is lost today. He explained that if he asked a woman out on a date, he normally did so with at least 4 or 5 days notice. He thought that during the lead up to the date, he and his date would have giddy expectations, and build up, without much, if any, communication till the actual date. That “distance” and time would actually enhance the desire and romance, and start the date with a wonderful innocence and hope. Sadly, the reality is, that each day prior to the date she or he would send each other text messages stating what they were doing, and how they felt – potentially dozens of texts per day. It left nothing to the imagination or anticipation… and by the time the date occurred there was not as much excitement and giddiness as he wished. For Joel, the romance was already dissipating.

It’s true that with technology we have eliminated all the gaps that patience and time had offered us. We have no more patience, and we all seem quite unravelled if we send out a text message, and do not get a response within the hour, if not immediately.

So what is the acceptable protocol with texting and dating?

Be patient. Yes, it’s worth it.

Asking someone out takes courage, whether you’re handsome, confident, smart, or shy, all people need courage to ask someone out. Rejection is always an option, and everyone hates that.

So, if you agree to go on a date with someone, have confidence that this person has thought it through enough to want to see you. There is absolutely no need to validate his or her invitation by constantly communicating with him or her until that date. It’s a wonderful, albeit sometimes scary notion to wait for that day to come. But it’s also a time when you can prepare yourself too. For girls, we can plan to get a manicure, pedicure or a hair styling. Maybe even buy a new dress. For the guys, get a haircut or  hit the gym and build those pecks that make you feel more manly!

Making contact prior to the date to make sure you’re both still available to go out is acceptable. But communicating too much leading up to the date will also leave less to talk about when you meet up.

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One thought on “The slow dance to your first date

  1. link here says:

    Hey, I just stopped in to visit your site and thought I’d say thank you.

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